Sex Matters- is your sexuality something you turn on or off like a tap?

Recently, a mentor of mine recommended that I read Sex Matters  for Women - A complete guide to taking care of your sexual self. I'm only a few chapters in and I am learning so much about myself, about women and our relationship with sexuality. isn't interesting that it is something that we all have in common yet few dare to speak about their sexuality openly, at least in my circle of friends. How is it in your circle of influence? There is the occasional fun conversation about a delicious evening with their partner yet so few of us talk about some real issues that are related to ourselves. I included. My journey with my sexuality has been ever evolving. there have been pivotal moments that have most definitely impacted me as to how I show up in the world and others less so, yet they are all interweaved in some way. One not better or more important than another, yet they are all a part of the big picture.

"unfortunately, even in our enlightened age, many women think of sexuality as  a series of disconnected, discrete behaviors.  Women have sex, they act sexy, and they think about sex at various times during any one day. But sexuality is not something we turn on and off, like a tap.  We are sexual beings all the time, and the more we understand how this facet intertwines with all of the others, the richer our lives become."  ( sex matters-by Foley, Kope, and Sugrue)

this paragraph caught my attention this morning. It was an ah ha moment for me! I am so guilty of thinking of my sexuality as a series of disconnected behaviors.....Yes, I have sex, act sexy and think about sex occasionally.....- the authors go on to say, but sexuality is not something we turn on and off, like a tap! Really.....I missed the memo on that one! that's for sure. I have approached more times than not, like a tap that I turn on and off. why is that? conditioning...a lack of knowledge or understanding . No one ever really talked to me about my sexuality and how it may unfold. the lessons or the messages, I did get in school , church and home...is don't have sex before you are married. No one ever took the time to share what one may experience. All I remember were the messages of don't do this, don t do that , etc. Repression was the name of the game and they called it education. Really where is the education in sharing with me sex positive messages? Telling me that I am a sexual being and that one will experience so many things along the way would have been so awesome and likely life changing!

The authors stated that we are born sexual beings. funny thing is something surely went awry along the way, because I never really got that message along the way. Did you? Yes, I am a woman and yes I know sex is what we can all experience when we choose to...I am very much aware of that. I though more often than not have used sex much like a tap , turn it on and off as convenient as that may be.

Sexual being, what does that mean to you? for me, it's being open to life experiences each and every moment of our day. Taking in the sensory of the experience , being in your  body, letting life flow through you naturally. It is knowing that as a woman I am a sexual being...that I can radiate sensuousness in so many different ways and they don't have to lead to having sex. Sensuousness is an energy you can tap into and is incredibly powerful. Sexual being means to me being fully alive , opened,  to the flow of life that is us that flows through us, that gives us life. Sexual energy is the life force energy that is us and in each of us. It's so much more than the simple act of making love to someone.

As the authors of this great book also shared, "you are always in the process of exploring your sexuality, because it is every fluid."

how are you exploring your sexuality?

happy explorations....

Canada's goddess coach

 

 

 

 

you are always in the process of  exploring your sexuality, because it is ever fluid.


Diane Merpaw

Sacred Intuitive Artist &

Spiritual Coach